I feel surrounded by – no, encompassed by? or more like “chased down the street and beaten with a stick” by – changes. And this is coming from someone who used to LOVE change, surf it like a wave and do little dances as it was happening, thrilled by the newness of whatever was happening. Right now, though? I’d give anything to keep just one solid square of the security of my current/former life under my feet right now.
In no particular order:
- Ky is coming home for the summer. Freshman year of college under his belt, and my Freshman year of empty nesting coming to an end. How did it go by so FAST? I feel like I’ve just learned how to live alone again and be a good “phone mom” and “occasional weekend mom” and now my chick is flapping back to the nest. Huh.
- The biggest of my two jobs has ended. The career I’m transitioning away from has left the building. The career I’m transitioning TO? Not here yet. It must be late. I’m like 99% sure I haven’t been left at the career altar. 90% sure, minimum. Like 89.5%. Whatever – it’s like they say: “Out with the old… then stand there awkwardly and watch ‘the old’ get smaller in the distance and ponder the complexity of the universe as you momentarily contemplate chasing ‘the old’ down and begging it to come back.”
- The house I’m renting is being sold! And there goes the last legitimate reason for me remaining in the same town and same home I’ve lived in for 10 years. This is the longest I’ve ever lived in one place since childhood. And it no longer makes sense, what with my commute and the cost of living etc etc etc. I’m spending 20% of my waking hours in the car, driving to or from work. I’m spending 10% of my household budget on GAS to do all that driving. This house no longer makes sense. But I love it. And I’ll miss it. And moving right now? Feels terrifying in this sea of change and uncertainty. Not to mention moving is a HUGE pain in the ass.
How am I dealing with all this change, you ask? Why, with yoga, running and deep and healthy meditation. (And by yoga/running/meditation I mean back to back episodes of Orphan Black in bed in my pajamas, way too much Wolavers India Pale Ale and frantic calls to my mother asking if she’d like to buy the building I live in and become my new landlord).
In other words, taking it like an adult.